Cause and Effect
by CrisisChild
Summary: From before Lucrecia to his true end at the Sister Ray. A look at Hojo's life in quick glances. "In the end, it was serendipitous that Hojo had made one friend who bothered trying to understand him."
1. Cause

**Disclaimer: **Do not own Hojo or FF7. Only own one OC here.

**Cause and Effect**

**Part 1 - Cause**

**He Was a Kid Too**

Hojo had always been the target of bullies for one reason or another. Because he was smaller and scrawnier than others or because he irritated them with his higher level of intelligence or just because he was just plain irritating – he would be beaten up every other day and teased and taunted. He hated everyone around him – including his unhelpful parents. He never bothered trying to make friends with anyone and just stayed in his little dark corner, reading chapter books at the age of eight.

It did not mean that he didn't feel lonely. Back then, he simply had a hard time understanding people and their odd, frivolous reactions to anything and everything.

In the end, it was serendipitous that Hojo had made one friend who bothered trying to understand _him_.

Haruhi, her name was. She was one of the taller girls in his class, but she was usually so docile and friendly to everyone. Just another girl who he went to school with whose name he had memorized for convenience more than anything else. He disliked her, because she practically towered over him (and over half of the class), but it was because of that height and her sudden change in attitude that saved him from further bullying.

Of course, there were still taunts every now and again…mainly about Haruhi being Hojo's girlfriend.

Blech. As if!

However, he would be remiss if he didn't thank her for her constant help, companionship and understanding, especially since she remained by his side all the way into adulthood. During the fifth grade she had told him she would protect him no matter what, because they were friends, silly and sentimental and oh, so _girly_ as the idea was.

He quietly returned her sentiments with some rock sugar he had grown himself in science class, mumbling something about asking her if she wanted to be his friend forever (or something close to that).

**- = Hojo = - - = Hojo = - - = Hojo = - - = Hojo = -**

**The Land of Dreams**

Midgar, the Land of Dreams. A city created by the manufactory company, Shinra Inc. It was a place that promised all your desires and greatest wishes.

It was also where Hojo and his family were going to move to and he was none too happy about it. Sure, they could start anew there, but his parents did not have any job security over there as they did in Wutai and unless you're a construction worker, income and work would be scarce for them. And sure, there would be a smaller chance of being bullied by people he hated, but the new environment would be strange and foreign to him. There were also the customs and traditions they would have to learn and adapt to on the Eastern Continent, which Hojo would be loathe to do.

And the most important thing of all, his best friend would not be there. Haru had had a blank look on her face when Hojo gave her the news and he sorely wished she had lost her temper, yell, scream cry – anything. But she gave no reaction, other than to walk away from him and close the door to her house in his face. He did not blame her and could only imagine what his best friend was doing in her house right now – probably ripping apart her plushies. He wished he could stay, he really did and he wanted to tell Haru he was sorry for leaving her behind, but her lack of reaction had hurt him, too. And he was just a boy, back then. So he ran back home, to fume and hate his best friend, too. However, deep in his heart, he did not want to go.

But here he was, riding in a car with his parents to the new house. They turned around a corner and Hojo chanced a look out the car window and though he saw a familiar figure running down the street. He blinked and rubbed his eyes, but it was gone.

_Impossible_, he thought angrily. _Haru's on the other side of the continent._

They arrived at the house – one of many that all looked entirely the same – the moving vans already there and unloading their possessions. There was also a small crowd of people watching them move in on the other side of the street and Hojo couldn't help, but think that they were mindless peons, just whiling their lives away. The feeling of loss still stung acutely and when he got out with his parents and bombarded with questions from his neighbour, he went to sit on one of the boxes to continue his sulking.

"Guess who!" commanded a young, familiar voice. Hands were covering his eyes and he could feel the tickle of brown hair on his neck. No, it couldn't be. How could it? It defied all logic!

"…H…Haru!"

"Oh, darn! How did you guess?" giggled the girl as she uncovered his eyes and let him see her. She was as he remembered her when he told her his farewell, minus the blank unreadable look on her face. But how was she here? Why? When? _What_?

Pretty soon, he had an armful of his best friend who he later found out had moved in with her uncle who lived a few houses down.

Land of Dreams, huh? Well, for once, Hojo would believe in such frivolous fairy tales.

**- = Hojo = - - = Hojo = - - = Hojo = - - = Hojo = -**

**He Hadn't Forgotten**

High school was unbearably dull and filled with more pressure and bullies than one could shake a cig at. It was also a place where many children their age tried to define themselves in order to be set apart from the rest of the sheep. Upon entering, Hojo had half expected to be left behind in Haru's dust as she soared to popularity (and she would deserve it, he thought, because Haru was very likable), and Haru would be distanced from himself, for the main reason that he would immerse himself in his studies in order to gain a scholarship into the most prestigious medical school Midgar had to offer.

However, Haru stuck by him through thick and thin. Sometimes her closeness would become annoying and he'd snap at her and his increasingly grouchy attitude would garner enough irritation to force the girl to give him a noogie. But they never grew apart. Separately, yes, at their own pace in their own chosen paths, but never apart.

Hojo, who acted calmly and coolly around the masses at school, never quite said it aloud, but he'd always show it to Haru in small, little bouts of affection; only for her he hadn't tested out of high school early. Wouldn't she be lonely without him? Of course she would, for she was a social creature and needed companionship. It wasn't as if he'd really miss her chatter and silliness (and her temper), should he leave this whole high school business behind him.

And it wasn't like he was trying to keep some silly promise he had made as a child or anything…

Creepy ass Hojo having a heart? His reputation as the creepiest nerd would be shot to hell for that!

**- = Hojo = - - = Hojo = - - = Hojo = - - = Hojo = -**

**Her Wish**

"Hojo, are you alright?"

It was the day after senior prom and Haru was tired beyond belief. She had stayed up late the other night with her date (and several of her classmates) to watch the sun rise up in the sky and had only managed a few hours of sleep. Today was their first day of freedom from school, before they started their chosen careers in a few months. Well, Hojo, brilliant as he was, would be still continuing his education at a medical university, while Haru went to military academy for training.

That aside, Hojo was at her doorstep at nine AM, drenched from the morning rain, still dressed in his tuxedo from prom. Uh-oh. He was quickly ushered into her house and snuck up into her room before her parents found out – ever since she'd hit puberty her parents forbade her best friend from ever entering her room.

Haru found a towel for him and set to drying his hair as she listened to him talk about the bitch that had only agreed to be his date, because the boy she wanted to be with was with someone else and told him just as much. No, wait. Not just as much. She went the extra mile to tell him that she'd never go with a grease monkey like Hojo under normal circumstances and that he should feel honoured that she had decided to be with him in the first place. Hojo had felt ugly and unwanted; alternately, he also wanted to hurt something.

In short, Hojo was far from alright.

So it was that the two best friends spent the day together ensconced in her room, just hanging out with Haru consoling Hojo by telling him that one day, he'll find someone truly worthy of his affections. A beautiful lady of science with a pretty smile and red heels, she stated. Although Hojo said nothing to these fanciful dreams and wishes that she spun for him, he had a few dreams of his own intertwined with guilt.

His eyes wandered through her room, wondering if she had a pair of red shoes, because the real reason why his date had dumped him was because he whispered Haru's name.

**- = Hojo = - - = Hojo = - - = Hojo = - - = Hojo = -**

**She Didn't Forget Either**

The Turks were know for having the most unsavoury reputation in all of Shinra; theirs was only rivalled by the science department who had questionable ethics and morals concerning their specimens and what to do with them. They never mixed unless entirely necessary, like, say, the lead scientists on an expedition to the Northern Crater required muscle and the Turks were it. Considering it was such a dangerous place, all the lead scientists would be assigned one Turk each and Hojo was already bristling at the thought of some muscle-bound Neanderthal constantly breathing down his neck as he worked. He had only been working for Shinra's science department for a little under two years now, but he had never heard of anything good about the Turks.

How pleasantly surprised he was to see Haru walking into his office, wearing the infamous dark blue suit.

Well, more like flabbergasted, because the other day he was sure he had seen her at Shinra Military Academy throwing unsuspecting young men across the room during an interschool karate tournament. Hadn't she wanted to join the army at some point? Then how…?

"Good morning, sir. I'll be your bodyguard from now on. My name is Haruhi Tenno, a pleasure, sir," she said smoothly, as if her joining the Turks hadn't been the most bizarre thing ever. Her face was blank as most Turks' tend to be, but when he met her gaze, she gave him a playful little wink and his body seemed to relax in relief. He hadn't realized he had been so tense.

"…You planned this, didn't you?" Hojo asked, turning back to his work with a half weary, half amused chuckle.

"When I said I'd protect you, I meant it."

He chuckled again, as Haru took up a position in the corner of his little office where she could get a clear view of him and all exits. As he looked over his work, he couldn't help muttering, fondly, "Silly sentimental girl."

**- = Hojo = - - = Hojo = - - = Hojo = - - = Hojo = -**

**Professor Gast**

He really hated Gast. Not only for the reason that the man was charismatic and successful and not a frail looking man of pitiable looks. And not just for the fact that Gast did he get the role of being Doctor Valentine's chosen successor, but also because he got the girl. More specifically, _his_ girl. Not that either of them had been in love (Hojo might have been and now he would never really know), but Hojo felt a profound feeling of loss and betrayal when Haru had fallen for the older man and, eventually, agreed to marry him.

While the happy couple made eyes at each other during their engagement, Hojo had taken to skulking shadows and corners and avoiding them at all costs. It was, of course, a lot harder to avoid Haru since she was his bodyguard, so Hojo gave her the silent treatment as he angrily scratched away at lab reports at his desk or doing an experiment in the labs. Hen the day finally came, he had not been present at the wedding.

Which pissed Haru off like nothing else. Hojo, in his assurance of Haru's friendship and protection, had long been not the center of his best friend's temper (that dubious honour usually belonged to anyone trying to hurt him) so when she stormed into his office, demanding what the _fuck_ was wrong with him, he was actually quite stunned. Her wedding night, apparently, had been ruined seven times in a row, due to her bad mood. And it was all Hojo's fault. She had been worried about him, pissed off at him and all kinds of emotional during her honeymoon that she couldn't properly enjoy it. And she demanded why he was acting like such an ass.

Fearing for his life, he admitted that he just hated Gast.

Haru gave him a good long look after he said this, brown eyes narrowed dangerously at him.

But then, she'd snort and just smack him in the arm.

"You're my best friend…you're _supposed_ to hate him, idiot."

**- = Hojo = - - = Hojo = - - = Hojo = - - = Hojo = -**

**It's Rather Unwieldy, Isn't It?**

Haru was an expert at swordplay. Although all members of the Turks were equipped with guns, it never hurt to have an alternate ready and waiting. Plus, those with specialties were given an extra bonus. Still, the scientist did not see the merit of owning a katana that was taller than his friend by more than a few feet. He was amazed that she could even swing it without falling over.

Unfortunately, after almost chopping Veld's head off a few times, Haru was basically ordered never to use the overly long sword ever again. It disappointed her a great deal, since she had commissioned it from a great sword smith back in Wutai for a good part of her pay for the last few months, but she acquiesced. It was now displayed in her apartment in Midgar, collecting dust to her dismay.

"It shouldn't just be sitting there, doing nothing," Haru grumbled during lunch with Hojo. Ever since they went to their separate departments in Shinra, the two friends barely had time for one another. However, the two always seemed to have lunch off at the same time, so they'd always eat together, unless pressing matters kept them away.

A raging behemoth wouldn't keep them apart for long – figuratively _and_ literally. They were still cleaning up the mess that one loose specimen had made in the laboratories.

"It's your own fault for deciding on a sword longer than you are tall," Hojo stated distractedly, taking a sip of his tea while looking over his reports. Haru sighed dramatically.

"It wasn't as if I couldn't use it!"

"I think Veld would say otherwise."

Haru pouted and Hojo chuckled at her, though he imagined the pout rather than saw it, his eyes still on his papers. He did look up from his work when his friend seemed to suddenly perk up with an idea.

"I know. This will become a family heirloom! I'll pass it onto my son!"

Hojo snorted. So _that_ was her brilliant idea? "And what makes you think any of your offspring will be male?"

"Call it female intuition."

The scientist would have said something derisive here, but Haru looked so dead set on her idea that he didn't have the heart to.

That and she'd probably shoot him for mocking her intuition.

**- = Hojo = - - = Hojo = - - = Hojo = - - = Hojo = -**

**Choices**

Hojo continued his hatred of Gast well into his elder years and with good reason. One thing after another, reasons to loathe his rival in the science department had piled up, but it would always come back to one thing. Or rather, one person.

Gast had divorced with Haru after she became barren and for supposedly being unfaithful. It hadn't been fully her fault; Hojo had been careless and extremely foolish in his actions. His bodyguard had been feeling unwell some months after her wedding and being the good friend that he was, offered to look into things for her. Hojo took a blood sample and put her blood work on top of the growing pile of work he needed to do.

He had been the first to know that Haru was pregnant with Gast's child. On a whim, he did not tell Haru, knowing she would experience the symptoms of pregnancy soon enough. Plus, he wanted to one-up Gast by being the first to tell him that his wife was pregnant and he did, never once thinking about the repercussions for his best friend. Blinded as he was, back then, by his hatred, he never saw the events that came.

First was the attack on the scientists during their trek to the Northern Crater from Modeoheim. It had been snowing that day, Gast was ignoring Haru for all he was worth (he felt jealous that she'd tell Hojo and not him, the father, first, even though she had no idea that she was with child) and a group of monsters had surrounded them from out of nowhere. Haru had been the first to jump into action, gun drawn and shooting alongside her partner, Veld. It was the Turks' job to protect the scientists, after all, so the two went all out. Being assigned specifically to Hojo, though, Haru had been compelled to jump in front of him when one monster decided to pounce him.

Haru had been severely injured and they had to go back to the Shinra base at Modeoheim in order to save her.

They couldn't save the baby though. Worse yet, a lot had been torn and sacrificed in order to save the Turk. Haru would never have children again. Gast left her afterwards, which left Haru in a terrible mess. The excavation of the Northern Crater had been postponed and they went back home to Midgar.

All the while, Hojo could not summon the ability to rejoice at the fact that Gast had left Haru – that he had proven that the man was no worthy of the female Turk's affection. It was a bittersweet, meaningless victory and one that would leave its scar on his friend forever.

**- = Hojo = - - = Hojo = - - = Hojo = - - = Hojo = -**

**Just the One**

"I think I'd have wanted to have a dozen children," Haru said as she ate her salad. The two of them were having lunch together at a restaurant in Midgar, like they always did during the week. It was the only time Hojo allowed himself out of the labs and Haru was available to spend time with her best friend. It had been a month now, since her divorce with Gast and the scientist could still see the remnants of his friend's sorrow showing through.

Hojo raised a brow at her sudden admission. "With your small body Haru, no matter how fit you are, twelve would surely not be healthy for you," he stated, despite the fact that many women were capable of having at least ten offspring in Wutai. Case in point: Haru, herself, was the youngest of seven sisters.

Haru chuckled and pushed back a stray lock of dark brown hair behind her ear. "I know…I know…right now, I'd be happy to just have the one baby boy…" Her hand slipped down to her abdomen that had just been the home of a small life a month prior and never to be again. "…We were going to name him Sephiroth."

"Oh? I thought you would have insisted on a more traditional Wutai name for your child," Hojo said, ignoring the burning feeling that started to grow inside of him whenever Gast was mentioned. He had always disliked Gast, for all kinds of petty reasons, but with recent events, it had turned into an indescribable loathing. For the sake of Haru, he kept that cold fury on the backburner; best not to upset someone who knew a million ways to kill you, after all.

"I wanted a name to match Faramis'," Haru replied softly. "He seemed to like when I suggested it."

"It's a bit of a fanciful name, though, 'Sephiroth'." Hojo would never name any of his children with such an odd name, if he ever got around to finding hat one special woman to have any with.

Haru chuckled. "Just you wait, Hojo…one day a hero will rise in the world and he'll have a name just like Sephiroth."

"Ah, your intuition again?"

"You know it."

**- = Hojo = - - = Hojo = - - = Hojo = - - = Hojo = -**

**Like A Puppy**

Having very few friends to his name, Hojo often found himself talking incessantly about his discoveries to Haru, who would just smile and nod at him, barely understanding half of the things he said. It did not mean she didn't take part in his enthusiasm and was quite happy that he was enjoying his work so much; in turn, Hojo kept her mind off of Gast and their messy divorce, especially in light of the fact that he seemed to have moved on surprisingly quick. Gast had met a woman at Modeoheim by the name of Ifalna, a person whom believed in the old fairytales of the Ancients; mad, he thought, absolutely mad.

However, they had found something incredible inside of the Northern Crater, which could change the world. An actual Ancient – a real Cetra! There was talk of cloning or creating a new Ancient, bringing their race back from extinction and he was truly excited to get started. Grimoire Valentine was soon going to name the head of this project, once he returned from his spelunking near the caves in the mountains of Nibelheim.

"Imagine that! Breathing life into what was once lost!"

"Yes, that does sound interesting."

"…You _could_ fake enthusiasm better, Haru."

"I think you're enthusiastic enough for the both of us, Hojo."

**- = Hojo = - - = Hojo = - - = Hojo = - - = Hojo = -**

**Like an Old Married Couple**

There were days when Hojo and Haru would argue over anything she'd deem too dangerous; it would never be about morals or ethics, because that would be a perfect case of the pot calling the kettle black considering Haru's own profession. However, the Turk would never be the one to take things too far, just one step too late or one step behind. Hojo would open his mouth and say something awful – about her sterility, her failed marriage, anything that would get a rise out of his childhood friend – and then immediately regret it.

She'd stare at him with a horrified look on her face each time (her sensitivity never seemed to dull no matter how long she had worked with the Turks or how many times he'd hurt her) and he would soon realize what he'd said to her. And before he could even think of apologizing – every time – her hand would come up to slap him across the face.

And she'd be crying then and run off, while Hojo rubbed the ache in his cheek, trying to hate her for what she did while feeling sorry for what he'd done. Later on, when it became imperative that the Turk had to come back in order to do her job and keep an eye on him, they'd stay together in the lab in awkward silence.

And he'd never tell her he was outright sorry, but Hojo would always make it up to her in his actions. Just little things here and there to let her know he hadn't meant what he said, never meant what he said and that, despite her lack of scientific ability, he still wanted to be friends. The acts were frivolous and silly, but they were often appreciated by his bodyguard. Little by little, she'd warm up to him again; when she totally forgave him his transgressions she'd find him, give him a quick, ghost of a hug, then disappear back into the shadows.

And then they'd start the process all over again. Haru only did it out of concern; after all, Grimoire Valentine had died just recently.

**- = Hojo = - - = Hojo = - - = Hojo = - - = Hojo = -**

**The End of All Hope**

"Haru…Haru, come on, speak to me."

This was the end. This was it.

It had been an ordinary, normal day in Nibelheim. They had relocated some time ago in order to work and research the Jenova Project in peace. Only a select, privileged few would be working on it and Hojo had been chosen. Predictably, he was assigned Haru as his bodyguard, as Hojo's reputation began to grow to unlikable proportions. He had stepped on the toes of many scientists also under the employ of Shinra, clawing his way to where he was now, in his prime, in order to gain position and prestige. He would not be looked over again. Newcomers like Hollander were mere stepping stones to Hojo, which, of course, garnered much hatred towards his person.

Poor Haru had never been so busy trying to intercept assassination attempts against the good doctor.

Poor Haru had been the time to bite the proverbial bullet for Hojo.

Perhaps, Hojo mused, the poison had been meant for the entire group of scientists working in Shinra Mansion, which made Haru's death all the worse. A random, unintentional death? Unacceptable.

But there it was; she was dying in his arms, slowly fading away. Her death was clean, if anything, but that did little to console Hojo. His best friend in the whole world was dying. Haru was dying and he could do nothing to save her. There were no anti-poison remedies available in the lab and the nearest hospital was in Gongaga and hey only had the bare necessities. The local physician would also be quite useless against poisoning.

Her hand touched his cheek; her eternal affection was wordless and awful. Even so close to death, her thoughts were on him. He held that hand there, body shaking with strangled sobs.

"Haru…"

And, just like that, she faded, returning to the Planet.

**- = Hojo = - - = Hojo = - - = Hojo = - - = Hojo = -**

**The Beginning of the Nightmare**

There had been no funeral. Turks did not have the privilege of having markers for their graves nor had many to mourn their loss. However, it did not mean that Hojo had done nothing for his friend. While it was no grand send-off, as was traditional for their people, he did cremate her body and spread the ashes over the Nibel Mountains. It was the best he could do.

The same day he had spread her ashes a new scientist would be arriving at Shinra Mansion, alongside a new Turk to take Haru's place. As if he could, Hojo snarled in his mind. No one could replace Haru, he was sure. No one. No one would keep an eye on him while he worked late into the night and sometimes straight to morning the way she did. No more would he be able to chatter incessantly over everything and nothing with someone who understood him more than they understood his words.

No more would Hojo have a friend as true as her, who would get angry at him, be overly protective, care for him and just want to be with him, because she could.

Gast – oh, how he truly loathed him, because he had been scarce when his ex-wife was dying in her best friend's arms – came up to him, smiling and grinning as if Hojo hadn't just have a private funeral, to introduce him to their newest arrival. Lu-something or other. He heard the telltale sounds of heels clicking on the wooden floor and staring at said floor, he noticed a pair of feet set in red shoes. Eyes moving upwards from there, up a pair of long legs and trim, young body to a smiling, pretty face, he was struck by how out of place the new researcher was. She was young, vibrant and…beautiful.

That pretty face of hers was sympathetic and pitying as she addressed him. "I'm sorry for your loss," she said, sounding shy. "I heard that the Turk who died recently was a friend of yours. My condolences."

Still a little shocked – and now more so with her kind words – Hojo could only nod, as he hugged the urn that once carried Haru's ashes.

"I look forward to working with you. My name is Lucrecia Crescent."

He mumbled something random in return, which sparked a delicate laugh from the woman. Its sound was soothing and Hojo eventually found, that her laughter and smiles would be his – and the world's – eventual undoing.


	2. Effect

**Cause and Effect**

**Part 2 – Effect**

**Helen of Troy**

Lucrecia was a very sweet woman with a pretty smile and a penchant for discovery. And also mightily clumsy. There wasn't a day when Hojo hadn't seen her trip on her own red shoed feet or catch a snag in the foyer carpet of the Shinra Mansion or slip down the stairs to the underground lab. Quite frankly it was very embarrassing to watch her and her distinct lack of grace; however, Hojo was an impeccable gentleman every time she fell and offered her a hand up. She'd smile and laugh nervously, the sound fleeting and fluttering like the wings of a butterfly and then she'd be off with a single word of thanks.

Sometimes, Hojo would be disgusted with himself because it had been only a week since Haru's 'funeral' and he was lusting after some pretty thing with heels. Yes, he reasoned with himself, it was just physical attraction and loneliness eating at him, nothing more. The absence of Haru was so obvious that he was seeking comfort in any way he could and Doctor Crescent just happened to be around. It was all circumstantial.

And sometimes, Hojo couldn't help staring at her for more than a second too long, drawing out their conversations on the project or stay in contact with her for a moment more than necessary. But it couldn't be helped. Despite the size of the mansion, the two were more often than not stuck in the same lab together and huddling over reports on the same desk. And she'd always understand him no matter how complicated his explanations were and smile at him warmly.

And though it felt like the worst kind of betrayal to Haru's memory, Hojo presented Lucrecia a natural formation of mako crystal as a random present when her birthday came round, exactly one month after Haru's passing.

Lucrecia had beamed at him and said that it looked just like a flower, her hip bumping his accidentally as she stood close to Hojo, admiring his priceless find.

**- = Hojo = - - = Hojo = - - = Hojo = - - = Hojo = -**

**I'm So Sorry**

At night Hojo would dream of her. There she would be, smiling and asking how he was, as if she didn't already know. Being the kind of man to dream lucidly, he always made the same statement to his dream girl, who just kept up that smile of hers. As if she didn't already know. Hojo did not believe in spectres, no matter that, for once in his life, he wanted to believe in ghosts just so he could really see her smile one more time. Just have one more chance to tell her he was sorry, because there had been so many times he'd hurt her over the most trivial of things.

Hojo had always believed that Haru had been nigh indestructible and that, no matter what, she would stay by his side.

But she was gone and all he had left of her was…

By Leviathan, he wanted to apologize to her.

Months ago, when he and other doctors had been in a frenzy saving Haru's life after the attack in Modeoheim, Hojo had managed to remove one of Haru's ovaries after it was discovered that her child had died and discovering that she would never be able to have a child again under normal circumstances. It had been only a partial save, considering how torn up she had been and it had been a true miracle the woman had survived at all, but he still managed to save an ovary and harvest eggs from it. After her divorce with Gast, Hojo never had the chance to tell her the good news – or thought it was never the right time. And till the day she died, Hojo had kept that secret, worried over the thought she would leave him in disgust, if he told her what he had done and why he had done it.

He wanted to apologize, even if he didn't say it. And he couldn't and it always tormented him whenever she would come to him in a dream, whispering sweet nothings and asking how his day was, as if she didn't already know.

Her transplanted fertilized egg and Lucrecia's slowly swelling belly were a reminder of what he had done. If he could not tell her he was sorry, then he would show her.

"When he's born, I'll name him Sephiroth."

**- = Hojo = - - = Hojo = - - = Hojo = - - = Hojo = -**

**His Goddess**

When Jenova was moved closer to the main body of the project, Hojo was fascinated by the Ancient.

While many shuddered at the grotesquely deformed woman, Hojo was entranced. Here was something he could put himself into – reviving what was once lost. How wonderful such a discovery would be? His mind had strayed a bit, then, when it crossed his mind; how wonderful it would be to be able to reanimate the dead.

However, any attempts to revive the Ancient had been utterly futile. They just couldn't do it. He was so frustrated that he had punched the chamber in which Jenova's body was kept and her cells harvested.

It was the day when he heard her voice. He had looked up then and saw what he only wanted to see.

Years later, he would find out that Jenova had the ability to take on the shape of loved ones and speak in their voices, in order to fool those she would try to infect with her cells, through the lost work of Faramis Gast – _when it was all too late to stop it all_ – he would laugh at himself his foolishness and then trudge onwards on the path he had made, sure in himself that the Promised Land was forever lost to him.

But, for those times, whenever he looked at Jenova, he saw a woman restored – of what she could be. Of a woman who had died and the smile she had as she floated within the mako chamber.

…**Hojo…How could you…?**

Her voice haunted him and hounded him…her sorrow penetrated his being.

**I'm here…how could you…forget me…?**

The ghost of her arms would slip around him, though Jenova did not move from the glass chamber. But he could feel her, right there, right behind him. The arms of a killer and a lover keeping him jealousy in her embrace.

**I can't forgive you…How could you…**

She sank herself into his mind, refusing to let go of him. Haru-_Jenova_-did not relinquish her hold on him and the scientist was torn between tearing himself away and burrowing further into her arms. Her voice whispered in his mind, softly, seductively, plaintively.

Her voice called out to him.

**You traitor. You betrayed me…**

He didn't mean to. He didn't mean to! He was a man and nothing more and men were not a little weak, when drowned in frustration. The grip on him now was painful – Hojo was almost suffocating.

And then, the embrace suddenly withdrew and he felt so awfully, terribly alone.

**But you could make it up to me…**

That was the day when had truly lost himself. There had been no funeral. There had been no pyre in which he had cremated his best friend's body. There had been no urn in which her ashes had been scattered. There had been no time when he had held her in his arms as she slowly faded away.

Here she was, with him and he would fight tooth and nail to keep her there.

**- = Hojo = - - = Hojo = - - = Hojo = - - = Hojo = -**

**Honour and Pride**

He and Lucrecia had been married for a little under a few months now, but it all had to do with the child she carried. The precious cargo that was to become his son. Why would it be male? Why, Haru-_Jenova_-had told him so herself and her intuition was never wrong. Oh, but poor, sweet Haru-_Jenova_-, she could not bare the child herself – not in the condition she was in – at the brink of death that she had to be sustained within a mako tank and hooked up to all kinds of machinery. Ah, but she looked like a sleeping angel in there, floating in the glass tank.

Lucrecia had been unfaithful to him, though. Always had, right from the beginning. Had she thought he wouldn't know about how she looked at that young Turk? Vincent Valentine? That dog of Shinra that kept tailing her around like some lost puppy?

"One day, my experiment will come to fruition, my dear," Hojo said, looking up at the blue, cold form suspended within the mako tank. He touched the glass fondly and cackled. "Did you know? Gast had cold feet and ran off as soon as he could with that woman? Don't worry though, my dear. I'll make them pay. You just sleep…rest…one day…one day…I will make everything right."

Yes, everything would be alright.

Lucrecia, foolish girl, thought she was carrying her own child, one that she thought she had conceived with another man when she was married to him; the truth of the matter was, the fertilized egg had come from his own lab, from a woman that was long dead, infused with Jenova cells.

_, it was Haru, yes, Haru. Devoted, strong, indestructible and indomitable Haru. The only one who understood him. The only one who _**cared**_._

Lucrecia cried and screamed for the interfering dog, just as she cried for the son that wasn't even hers. What right did an unfaithful wench like her deserve to hold an innocent babe like his son? And yes, he would become the world's hero – Hojo would see to it. Haru's glorious vision; the dreams he himself had destroyed with his own two hands. Let her see Sephiroth? Let her hold him. No. Never. Not ever.

It was a matter of honour and pride.

**- = Hojo = - - = Hojo = - - = Hojo = - - = Hojo = -**

**He Would Never Forget**

Killing Gast was the most liberating thing he had ever done. It felt good to hunt him down like the dog that he was all the way to his hideaway hidden in the snowy peaks of the Northern Continent. Gast and his newfound family had been hidden away just north of Modeoheim, barely a walk's away from the place from where everything had gone straight to Hell. It was fitting that the man would soon be meeting his end here. There were rumours that the pit in the center of the Northern Crater led straight to the very depths of Hell itself; Hojo looked forward to dropping old Gast in there.

The old scientist begged for him to let him and his family go – to not kill him, because he had a wife and child. Hojo sneered at him, not paying attention to the Cetra woman cowering in the corner with her crying infant as he levelled his pistol at Gast's forehead.

"Yes, you _had_ a wife and child. And you left them to rot." He would never forget the utter devastation Haru had felt when she realized she had lost her baby and all future chances of having children and the despair that had entered her heart when she lost her husband, too. Hojo would never forgive this man in front of him as long as he would never forget.

A shot rang out in the cabin and that was the end of Gast. But Hojo's revenge would not stop there. At this point, he already had Haru-_JenovaJenovaJenova_-and Sephiroth, so the continuation of the Ancient race had little to no concern for him anymore. However, since Gast cared oh, so much for this woman and her brat, well, what stopped him from tormenting the old man from beyond the grave?

Hojo gestured for the Turk accompanying him to take Ifalna and her child in.

"Collect the specimens. Use force, if you must."

**- = Hojo = - - = Hojo = - - = Hojo = - - = Hojo = -**

**Masamune**

The first time Sephiroth had held the sword, he was only fourteen years old and much too short to be wielding such a tall blade. The boy had held the weapon reverently, caressing the tempered steel in wonder, before looking at Hojo, suspicious of his intentions. Thus far, anything that had been given to the boy was almost always taken away. But not this time. This was something special. The scientist had not given the boy much in terms of permission, but a nod was all the silver-haired teen needed before he ran off to try out his new weapon in the virtual reality room.

According to the grapevine, the boy had almost taken Veld's head clean off during a 'friendly spar'. It brought a little smile to Hojo's lips and when asked that the boy be forbidden to use it, he told the Turks an outright no. The sword would be his son's greatest ally and protector and no one would separate them. If anyone tried to take the nodachi away from Sephiroth would be treated to a one-on-one, all out fight with the enhanced child. Nine out of ten times, no one survived such an ordeal without missing a limb.

Hojo was so proud of him.

**- = Hojo = - - = Hojo = - - = Hojo = - - = Hojo = -**

**Reunion**

Haru-Jenova-had wanted to meet her son. Hojo had been vehemently against the idea, saying that it was not time yet and that she was not whole reconstructed yet. But she was impatient and had pleaded with him, begging so much that he had relented and separated from her for a time. Haru-Jenova-wanted to see Sephiroth by herself and he had arranged it so that they would meet by sheer coincidence in Sephiroth birthplace: Nibelheim.

Things had not gone as planned and Hojo was horrified to hear that Sephiroth – her _son_ – had been killed in action. And that Jenova-Haru-something had happened to her! It was all he could do to rush over to Nibelheim to assess things for himself. He was a nervous wreck on the ride over and kept snapping at the young pilot taking them to the mountain town, fidgeting and sweating over the consequences of the losses that loomed over his head.

The child had been lost again.

He couldn't believe that it was happening again!

As the helicopter started to land, something whispered at the back of his mind, calling to him. It caressed at his mind with invisible fingers, whose touch were softer than a newborn chicobo's down. It tickled at his conscience and calmed the torrent of emotions threatening to overtake him once more.

**It's alright, Hojo. Everything will be alright. We could have a reunion…we'll all be together once more. We could always have another Sephiroth.**

Hojo nodded absently. Yes, yes, that could work. A Reunion. He could just make her another child. How hard would it be to accomplish? All too easy, a simple parlour trick it was, to re-create Sephiroth in all of his glory. And he did, taking in all that remained of Nibelheim and started it all over again, never once questioning the voice of the headless thing that called itself Sephiroth's mother. It didn't matter how odd he thought she was being, at the back of his mind.

All she had wanted was just the one. Well, now he would give her the dozen she had wanted – and more!

"Sixteen, my dear, and counting. Aren't you happy you have so many children?"

**- = Hojo = - - = Hojo = - - = Hojo = - - = Hojo = -**

**Lies**

One day, Hojo had fallen down some stairs and hit his head pretty hard, the hard blow rendering him unconscious for days. And during that time, he dreamt of nothingness and had known peace, but only for a little while.

The final day of his short coma had brought him out of Jenova's thrall.

All of the sudden, the black void became a traditional Wutai house and he was sitting inside a guest room. In front of him was a lacquered table with two cups of hot tea, already served. Sitting across from him was Haru, wearing a white yukata with her long brown hair loose round her shoulders. She sat with her back straight, her expression very solemn and displeased. As if she had known what he had done. And she did know.

Hojo ducked before the teapot hit him square in the face. It shattered behind him, hot tea spraying everywhere.

"How could you," she said softly, voice tinged with sadness. Hojo stared up at her; hadn't they already done this? Wasn't he already repenting for his past deeds to her by doing everything he had to for her?

"I was trying to make you happy," Hojo defended.

"How could you think…doing any of that would make me happy?"

How could she not be? All these years, she had been whispering to him her pleasure and contentment; she had been so happy that he had done everything for her. Haru had told him she loved him and would love him even more, if he always did as she said.

A slap to the cheek brought him back to the matter at hand – Haru, his childhood best friend, was giving him such a murderous look as she readied her hand for another assault on his face. Her palm connected with his cheek once more and his head whipped so fast, he thought he had popped something. He would have fought back, but he was too stunned to – never once had Haru ever serious laid a hand on him, even when she had been her most furious.

"No matter what you do, Hojo, you can't bring me back. I'm dead, you idiot. Dead and ashes and _dus_t. You should know that. You _burnt_ me _yourself_!"

And that was when his eyes opened, the memories of that day flooding back to him. Her death, the funeral – the smell of flesh burning away bit by bit and the stinging of his eyes because of the fumes from the gasoline he had used. The pain of knowing his Haru had died an unjustified death and she would never be there anymore and he would never, ever get the chance to tell her how sorry he was. But he realized, things were too late. This revelation had come too late.

When he opened his eyes to the waking world, there was a looming red object in the sky.

It was too late.

**- = Hojo = - - = Hojo = - - = Hojo = - - = Hojo = -**

**Last Ditch Effort**

Sephiroth needed him. As much as the boy often looked down his nose at him, despised his very being and cringed at his mere presence, his son needed him, for better or worse. At this point, Hojo personally thought that the world could do to Hell even if he had to go with it. It was too late to turn back down and the professor was not the kind of man to let things go half-finished. Jenova-induced or not, Hojo was going to help his son become a god, if that was what he had to do and here he was now, diverting energy into the Sister Ray in order to send it straight to the Northern Crater where his son was ensconced securely in mako.

Leviathan, he hadn't seen his son's face in ages. And the years before the Incident in Nibelheim had not counted. Not at all. Back, then, he had not truly looked at him, otherwise, he would have seen the similarities in Sephiroth and his biological mother. The shape of Sephiroth's eyes were a true testament to his Wutai heritage and his paleness was closer to his mother's than Hojo's sickly pallor. His grace, altered and enhanced a sit was, was his mother's for sure; a graceful, predatory walk.

How could he have been so blind? He should have pulled out long ago. He should have stopped himself long ago. He should have seen it long ago.

Hindsight really was 20-20.

He could not make up for almost thirty years of atrocities – Hojo knew he would burn for this – but he would lend his son a helping hand, even if he had to become a monster for it.

And it was in those last throes of humanity when he injected himself with Jenova cells to face off against the failure, his ex-wife's lover and that brat of a princess on equal footing, that he only ever allowed himself to act the father. In those last moments before his mind shut-off and his sense of self was lost, did Hojo realized that he loved his son and was sorry that stalling for time was all he could do to help him.

This was the end.


	3. Epilogue

**Cause and Effect**

**Epilogue**

Somehow, despite Deepground, Omega and _Vincent_-bloody-_Valentine_, they had survived. _He_ had survived and trapped was inside the body of a dead man named Weiss. They had found him, broken, torn and bloody, but still _alive_ on the edges of the ruins of Midgar and then brought him in. He was sure to be locked up, sent on a trial just for show that the W.R.O. were the good guys by giving him a fair trial and with the already pre-approved sentence, he would die with complete finalty.

However, that was not meant to be. Instead of locked up and killed like some animal put up to a farce of a trial, he had been taken to a special facility where he would be watched and observed; the world was dying and they needed his help. He was still locked up, of course, and the cage they had placed him in was bigger and fancier than the cold cell he had expected, but it was still meant to be his prison.

In his new body he could not be so easily contained. He could have left so easily and restarted from the beginning. He had all the time in the world. All he had to do was to break free. Why fix the world when he could just destroy it all and start anew?

He was set to take down the guards and smash his way out – destroy them all with brute force, though it wasn't his usual style. The men stationed outside and within the facility felt restless; they all had a reason for wanting him dead – lost lovers, family members, friends – and were just waiting for the right moment to take him down with extreme prejudice. The commissioner had told them that they could use deadly force with him, should he become a threat.

They were waiting. All of them, waiting for the right moment…

It was evening and the light filtering in through the skylight of his new laboratory was changing into a dusky orange. He had been waiting for this moment all day, knowing that the change of guards came at precisely this time and made for the door.

The door operated on a pass code and he had spied upon his captors often enough to know the exact sequences of numbers that would release him once more upon the world.

Halfway through inputting the numbers, the door to the lab slid open and someone stepped in. On instinct, he lashed out at the intruder with his fist and only met air. He let out a cry when he was kicked in the ribs and another roundhouse kick had him sprawled on the ground before he knew it.

"Good evening, sir. I'll be your bodyguard from now on."

The voice was even, soft and familiar. Whose voice was this? Was it Lucrecia? No, no…her voice had a slight whine to it. That girl, Shelke? Or perhaps, that brat princess that had been following Valentine around? No matter the voice that he brought up to the forefront of his mind, there wasn't anything that matched.

And what kind of 'bodyguard' did bodily harm to the person they were guarding?

"My name is Megami Tenno, a pleasure, sir."

Tenno, that name clicked in the depths of his memory banks, though for what reason, he couldn't fathom why.

A hand was held out in front of his face.

"Professor, you shouldn't be lying down on the floor, you'll catch cold."

Looking up, a young face framed by neatly cut brown hair was staring down at him quietly, expectantly.

His borrowed heart skipped a beat.

No, it couldn't be…

"Is something the matter? You look as if you've seen a ghost, Professor."

**END**


End file.
